Are long-term relationships realistic?
My research paper focuses on the idea that it is not realistic to assume that significant relationships will remain significant in the same way as years pass. The emotional high individuals experience at the beginning of a new relationship, whether it is with an intimate partner or a platonic friend, is known as passion. However, passion is not the basis of any long-term relationship. In order to maintain interpersonal long-term relationships, two people must practice voluntary commitment. While a relationship between two people may continue, it is inevitable that the dynamic of the relationship will change as time goes on.
The Jim to My Pam
Let’s face it, ever since The Office came out, we’ve all been searching for Jim to our Pam or vice versa. Below is a link to a youtube video entitled “Not enough for me? You are everything.” Before you watch, here is a little background information. The video portrays a long-term relationship between two fictional characters; Jim Halpert and Pam Beesly from NBC’s hit television show “The Office.” In the beginning of the show, the two characters are friends who have an unspoken romantic interest in one another. As the show continues, the characters face many obstacles before finally beginning their romantic relationship.
Pretty heartwarming right? While a video montage of the couples most wholesome moments towards the beginning of their relationship may seem touching, the reality of a long-term relationship comes to light in the next video. After being married a few years, having children, buying a house, and different career choices, Jim and Pam’s relationship dynamic changes. The couple becomes distant and their relationship is on edge. No longer in the honeymoon phase, their commitment encourages them to work things out despite the obvious tension. The video below displays how two people who know each other so well and for so long can appear to be strangers.
This media artifact relates to my research paper because it represents the idea that even though a relationship may remain significant over a period of time, the way it is significant will change. The two characters go from friends, to romantic partners, to husband and wife, and finally to parents. As their responsibilities and lives change, so does their relationship.
What did I know?
At the start of the research process, I had little to no knowledge of statistical data or scientific findings about relationships. I had prior beliefs and opinions based on my personal experiences, observations, and level of emotional intelligence. I always pondered the question of whether or not marriage and long-term relationships were sustainable or practical. Being the child of divorced parents, I have to admit I was a bit pessimistic when I considered the institution of marriage.
What I know now.
I have learned a lot about long-term relationships since the start of my research process. I learned that the likelihood of a relationship lasting in the long-term depends a lot upon the people who are in the relationship. It surprised me to learn how much personality and demographics play a role in relationship sustainability. According to the Journal Of Relationship Research, emotional intelligence is a vital predictor of mating performance. Many factors come into play when evaluating the likelihood that a relationship will last in the long-term. The Journal Article “Attachment, Efficacy Beliefs and Relationship Satisfaction in Dating, Emerging Adult Women,” even suggests that attachment style can determine relationship satisfaction. Based on my annotated bibliography and my pop culture rendering of my topic, I plan to research more about the specific ways in which relationship dynamics change over time. I also plan to research happy married couples and not just unhappy ones.
Sources
Apostolou, M., Paphiti, C., Neza, E., Damianou, M., & Georgiadou, P. (2019). Mating
Performance: Exploring Emotional Intelligence, the Dark Triad, Jealousy and
Attachment Effects. Journal of Relationships Research, 10, E1.
doi:10.1017/jrr.2018.22
Julal Cnossen, F., Harman, K., & Butterworth, R. (2019). Attachment, Efficacy Beliefs
and Relationship Satisfaction in Dating, Emerging Adult Women. Journal of
Relationships Research, 10, E19. doi:10.1017/jrr.2019.14
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